Between the Stages
by SkyChasingDreamer
Summary: Upon hearing the news of Kondo's fate, the first thing Gintoki does is the most natural: go to Hijikata's side. Potential spoilers for chapters 525-526.


**Title**: Between the Stages

**Pairing**: GinHijiGin

**Rating**: T

**Disclaimer**: No

**A/N**: From my tumblr.

**Between the Stages**

Gintoki wasn't well enough to be doing this, but that didn't stop him, nothing was going to stop him. His whole body was throbbing with each step, but there was something both great and terrible about adrenaline. It masked the pain enough for him to operate, but once it wore off the pain resurged and hit him like a bullet train. He didn't care though, he was too busy pushing his way through the throng of people, his eyes skipping this way and that for any sign of who he was looking for.

It didn't actually take too long for Gintoki to hear Hijikata's familiar commanding voice over all the commotion. He still wore his uniform just like everyone else and there was determination set in every line of his face. That was what people were meant to see, but Gintoki wanted to punch something because of what was beneath all that bluster. He could see the monster of worry, anxiety, fear, trepidation, and much more growing inside Hijikata like a second shadow. It would eventually, if not taken care of, give way to a kind of desperation that would lead to a potentially fatal recklessness – Gintoki was all too familiar with this.

He reached Hijikata and grabbed onto his arm only to have that arm ripped from his grasp. Hijikata was glaring at him and was treating his arm like he'd been burned by the touch. It had surprised him, probably, but his expression didn't change when he saw that it was just Gintoki. In fact, his glare seemed to get more narrowed and that definitely wasn't a good sign.

"What're you doin'? You shouldn't be here, dumbass!"

"Don't be stupid," Gintoki snapped, "I need to talk to you."

"I don't have time."

"_Make_ time."

"Get outta here and listen for once, I don't have time for you."

Gintoki grabbed onto his arm again, this time hard enough that he wouldn't be able to pull away. "No. I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

Hijikata grit his teeth hard enough for Gintoki to hear them grinding, then yanked his arm away and yelled to Yamazaki that he'd be back soon. Everything in the barracks was in relative chaos and there was stuff packed up in all corners of the place. Hijikata led the way out of the room and as they went, Gintoki caught sight of Sougo. There was a look on his face that usually wasn't there and Gintoki hated the flash of relief in Sougo's eyes when they saw each other. Gintoki gave him a small nod and his resolve to help became that much stronger.

When they were finally alone in a room farther away, Hijikata rounded on him, asking, "Well, what d'ya want?"

"Are you kidding? Tell me what's going on!"

"You should be restin'!"

"Like hell!" He grabbed both of Hijikata's shoulders and gave him a little shake. "Are you stupid? _You_ shoulda been the one to come tell me this shit!"

Hijikata's face was so red and twisted with fury when he exploded, "This has nothin' to do with you! You stupid bastard, this isn't –"

Gintoki continued to listen, he took every verbal blow and harsh word that was thrown his way. It wasn't his place, the Shinsengumi wasn't his problem, so on and so forth. It stung, but Gintoki was familiar with this behavior as well. Hijikata was scared and frustrated, it was difficult to handle a huge ocean of possibilities that had more deadly endings than good ones. Gintoki listened in silence, he didn't filch when Hijikata told him he could do nothing and he didn't look away once or step aside when Hijikata threw a punch at his wounded shoulder.

Hijikata was so blinded at the moment that he couldn't see _why _Gintoki had come given the state he was in. Even Gintoki's own _kids_ had understood why – granted, they'd fought him and tried to reason with him because of his condition, but they _knew_. Hijikata kept yelling and Gintoki made sure to let Hijikata know that he understood and he was hearing everything. He knew he was being stupid, he knew he didn't have a place in the Shinsengumi, and he knew that at the moment there wasn't anything he could do, which meant he was useless.

However, more than that, he knew that when someone wasn't in their right mind, they said things they didn't mean. He also knew that sometimes a person – a person like Hijikata, specifically, who had now taken to pacing – wouldn't blow up like this to just anyone. It was easier to lash out at a person one loved and trusted because on some level it felt okay to show them the ugly parts. Gintoki was seeing some of Hijikata's ugly parts, but they weren't really ugly to him, they were recognized, like meeting an old friend that only stopped by from time to time.

Hijikata continued to let forth a flood of negativities, his face so caught up in every emotion he was feeling that it was hard to decipher anything except anger. He was so distorted with it that he was almost unrecognizable, but he stopped and was silenced mid-sentence the second Gintoki grabbed onto the first two fingers of his right hand. He wasn't holding on tight enough to stop Hijikata's pacing, surely, but he'd stopped all the same.

"That's enough," Gintoki said calmly.

Hijikata's shoulders shook. "I dunno what to do."

"I know." He gave the fingers a squeeze. "We'll figure something out, alright? But you've gotta talk to me first."

"You're so annoyin'."

"I've been hearing that for years from you, I don't think it's ever gonna change."

Hijikata huffed, it was devoid humor, but it got him to turn and actually face Gintoki. With just a look, Gintoki knew Hijikata regretted his outburst and that remorse alone was enough to merit forgiveness as far as Gintoki was concerned. He let go of Hijikata's fingers and grabbed the back of his neck instead, pulling until their foreheads were pressed together. Gintoki closed his eyes and took in the familiar scent of Mayoboro tobacco that clung to so many things in Gintoki's room, clothes, his life. He felt Hijikata's hand grab onto him by his belt, like Hijikata didn't feel worthy enough to actually touch him, it made Gintoki smirk.

"There's a gorilla on the loose," Gintoki said, pulling back, but keeping his hand on Hijikata still. "We should probably find a way to bring him back, don't you think?"

"Yeah." Finally, some of the strain left Hijikata's face. "You really should be restin' though."

"I'll do that later, there'll be plenty of time when the new Jump comes out."

"Moron."

Gintoki gave him a tempered half-smile, then quickly leaned in to steal a chaste kiss before tugging Hijikata back toward the hustle and bustle.

"You owe me for this!"

"I don't owe you shit! I never asked you to come!"

"You don't _need_ to ask," Gintoki replied, exasperated. "I'll settle for a nice dinner."

"I buy you dinner all the time!"

"A _nice _dinner."

Hijikata's face went scarlet. "You can't mean..."

Gintoki smirked wickedly. "That's right, a da –"

Hijikata punched him on the back and stormed ahead, red up to his ears.

**The End**


End file.
